Monday, February 20, 2006

So That's Where All My Third Eye Blind CD's Went...

I'm sorry to report that the Torino Olympics have hit yet another roadblock as they struggle to capture the imagination and interest of the world. While the TV ratings tank in a hopeless battle against instant news reporting on the internet, it has now been revealed by anonymous sources that the medals being handed out to the winners at Torino are nothing more than cheap compact discs purchased at a Coconut's going-out-of-business sale. Meanwhile, seeing a chance for a new and more stable business model, the RIAA realized the only way to get a return on the huge advances shelled out for the next Tatu album is to unload all physical storage media in stock on the International Olympic Committee. The IOC seduced by the shiny rainbow reflections and the tinny sound, agreed to buy the discs at $16 a pop - which left the recording industry laughing all the way to the bank.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

It's Time We Had A Talk About Fascism...

Ok - I had to explain fascism to a 10 year old today. Who knew that 5th grade teachers were guiding our children through the great political ideologies of the 20th century? I have prepared in my head the bully talk, the bad grades talk, the why I won't buy you an XBox 360 talk... I have even had insomnia over the anticipated birds and bees talk. But fascism? I was totally caught off guard. I felt I had two options: A) explain that Hitler was a bad, bad crazy man. Or B) go into some abstract over-explanation of totalitarianism & national socialism during the interwar period, with a little Weimar economics thrown in. So... I just started talking. Talking talking talking until her eyes glazed over. Her response: "Nazi' shouldn't be so mean". Yes, that's right, Nazi's are bad bad bad crazy people. Now you go do your homework, brush your teeth, and stay away from those Nazis.